what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
