there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
