Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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