Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
