Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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