More tranny stories later!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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