Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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