i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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