After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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