i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize