He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
