This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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