Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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