I love black thongs
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
