yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
