exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
