Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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