Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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