Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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