There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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