Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
