I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
