Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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