I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
