My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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