with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
