Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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