I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
