There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
