im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
