So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
