I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
