She is in my trunk
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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