Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
