He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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