If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
