plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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