I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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