Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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