I wish i was in the wii world.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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