Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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