so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
