love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
