So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
