Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
