the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want her autograph on my taint
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
