Dual....:-)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
