It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
