Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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