I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
