So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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