I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
