My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
