How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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