Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
