Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
