I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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