we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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