Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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